If you think you might be pregnant, telling your parents can feel scarier than taking the test. You can’t control how your parents respond, but you can decide how and when to begin the conversation, and you don’t have to figure any of this out by yourself.
The team at Crossroads PRC is here to listen, answer your questions, and help you take the next step at a pace that feels right for you. Reach out to talk with someone or request a no-cost appointment.
First, Find Out for Sure
Before you think about any bigger decisions, it helps to know for certain whether you’re pregnant. A home test can be a starting point, but it’s normal to want something more reliable. Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center provides confidential, lab-quality pregnancy testing free of charge, so you can get a clear answer without worrying about costs.
If your test is positive, you can sit down with a registered nurse to go over the result and ask anything that’s on your mind. Depending on your situation, Crossroads may also be able to provide a limited obstetric ultrasound. This will show how far along the pregnancy has progressed, whether the pregnancy appears to be located inside the uterus, and if there is cardiac activity.
Knowing these details can make it easier to answer some of your parents’ questions.
Decide Whom to Tell First
You don’t have to tell both parents at the same time. Think about which parent or guardian tends to listen more calmly and might help you approach the next conversation. Sometimes it helps to talk first with another adult you trust, like a relative, teacher, coach, or healthcare professional.
If you’d feel more secure having someone beside you, you can ask that person to be there when you tell your parents. Having them close by can help you focus on what you need to say.
Choose the Time and Place with Care
Try to start the conversation when you and your parents have time to talk privately. It’s best to avoid bringing it up in the middle of an argument, right before someone leaves for work, or in a public place where you can’t speak openly.
If saying the words out loud feels like too much, you can write down what you want to say ahead of time. You might read from your notes, or hand your parents a letter and ask them to sit with you while they read it.
Plan Your First Sentence
You don’t need a long or perfect explanation. Often, a simple and direct opening is the easiest way to begin. For example, you might say:
“Before I say this, I need you to know I’m scared, and I need you on my side. I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I don’t know what I want to do yet, and I want us to figure it out together.”
If you haven’t taken a test yet, you could say:
“My period is late, and I think I may be pregnant. I need help getting a pregnancy test so I can know for sure.”
You can share more as the conversation continues. And it’s okay to say that you don’t know how you feel or what you want to do. You’re allowed to still be figuring that out.
Get Ready for Their Questions
Your parents will probably have questions. They might want to know the date of your last period, whether you’ve confirmed the pregnancy, or who else you’ve told. Some of their first reactions may not be questions so much as worries, about school, or money, or what this means for your health and your relationship.
You’re not expected to have all of that sorted out. Tell them what you know for sure, be honest about what you don’t know, and let them know that some of it will have to wait until you’ve talked to a healthcare professional. If they push you to make a decision on the spot, you might say:
“I understand that you have questions, but I need accurate information and time to consider what this decision involves.”
Give the News Time to Settle
Your parents’ first response may reflect shock. They might go quiet, ask several questions at once, cry, or speak out of fear. Allow them time to process the news.
If the conversation starts to feel heated, it’s okay to take a break. You could say, “I want to keep talking about this, but I think we need a short break before we can really hear each other.”
Taking a pause doesn’t end the conversation. It gives each of you a little time to think about what needs to happen next.
What If It Might Not Be Safe to Tell Them?
If you believe a parent may respond with violence, threats, or force you to leave home, do not have the conversation alone. Speak with a trusted adult and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help creating a safety plan. Confidential assistance is available 24/7 by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233), texting START to 88788, or using the website’s live chat.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Take the First Step at Crossroads PRC
You don’t have to arrive with a decision already made or a complete plan in place. Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center in La Grange provides no-cost pregnancy testing, information about your pregnancy options, and private time to meet with a registered nurse and an advocate who will truly listen. Depending on your results and medical criteria, Crossroads PRC may also be able to provide a limited obstetric ultrasound. Your visit to Crossroads is completely confidential.